Found: Notes on Gentility (date unknown)
I’ve never understood women in expensive restaurants who whip out lipsticks to remake their faces right at the table. Inspections in the compact mirror. Baring teeth to check for crumbs of lipstick or food. A dab. A fingernail. Powder over the nose. I don’t use makeup; I suppose I might, but I’d never do that.
And yet I use language that offends even my family. After flushing the toilet three times I’m slamming out of the door to say: “The turd that would not say goodbye.” Daughter Hetty who should be used to me by now says, “I think I’m gonna be sick.”
I was hurt. I thought what I said was funny, and besides I was, truly, frustrated, and besides why not say anything I want? Anything with the capacity to derail, defrock,vent hostility, expose discontinuity, especially anything to make someone laugh? No?